Do you help with hair washing?
This morning, as I kissed Tal goodbye I noticed her hair looked slick.“Did you wash your hair last night?” I asked while swiping her hair with a brush.
Turns out she did. Completely independently, as a matter of fact. Like many individuals with ASD, my daughter has challenges with fine motor skills and body awareness. So, tasks like hair-washing and rinsing are tricky.
If I’m home when Tal showers, I often poke my head in to help her to rinse her hair. But since I was out for dinner last night with some Autism Ontario moms, I wasn’t home for shower duty.
Tal was happy to have me out of her hair. “I need privacy, Mom,” she says.
She’s right. Proud of her independence, she doesn’t want stalker-mom lurking in the shower. So, my daughter is off to school with sketchy hair today. And likely school staff will wonder why MOM didn’t wash her daughter’s hair last night. I didn’t because my daughter washed her OWN hair. By herself. And the skill of hair-washing is a work in progress.
And there’s the rub. It’s always a fine balance between helping our adult children and letting them be independent. And that goes for everything from hair-washing to making a snack. Often, I know I need to back off. Our sons and daughters deserve the right to have a bad hair day. Just like anyone else.
Do you help your son or daughter with self-care skills? Any tips or ideas for increasing independence?